THE OBJECTIVE EAR
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THE OBJECTIVE EAR •
03: Silver Linings— an Inquiry
Whew! Okay chat: Heeyy… long time, no talk… We already made it halfway through April; time flies, right? For a moment of transparency, if I’m being honest, I don’t really know how I feel about that. I feel like I’m dangerously close to that feeling I had when I first started this blog— aimless? Like, remember when Katy Perry asked “Do you ever feel so paper thin like a house of cards one blow from caving?” OK well my answer would be YES, chile! But, I continue to find solace in her declaration that I am a firework so I continue to press toward the mark… whatever the mark is.
I digress— So, this weeks big picture idea is that silver linings are good and we should strive to find them (often, I think). But the gag is, we have to consciously be careful not to weaponize them against our perception of reality.
Just for context—
A few years ago I watched a film called “Silver Linings Playbook” because the title intrigued me. “Silver Linings?” I thought… “What the heck does that mean?” Long story short, the film focused on finding hope amidst adversity. It highlighted the importance of human connection. It was ultimately, in my opinion, a very moving depiction demonstrating the importance of resilience when facing the challenges of life. Fast forward to today— I LOVE finding silver linings. I think it’s one of those habits/practices that enhance your outlook on life. I guess it’s sort of the same incentive as “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. At the same time, I sometimes find myself escaping reality. What I mean by this is that sometimes I will dismiss the negative or heavier emotions I would otherwise feel if I weren’t gaslighting myself and telling myself “it’s fine,” or “could be worse”. I hope that made sense… Whatever— moving on.
This weeks insight should be short and sweet… just a penny for thought. So, here goes it—
Inquiry: What do I mean by ‘weaponize against our perception of reality?’
Follow me— (1) I spent 3 years at an institution I didn’t particularly love, graduated early suma cum laude. (2) After doing that, I am left with student loan debt which I have no idea how I am going to pay off. (3) I am working two jobs, 40 hrs a week, making a seemingly decent income; yet, I have nothing to show for it. (4) I continue to apply to ‘real jobs’ and have yet to even hear back from any of them ever.
Since I’m already filing my grievances, I’ll add in the fact that these said ‘real jobs’ always want me to have numerous years of experience. How the hell will I ever get these years of experience if nobody will hire me? Beyond that, how will I ever get hired if people with whole ass PhD.’s are applying for the entry level jobs that are supposed to be for me… TO ENTER MY DESIRED FIELD OF WORK WHICH I STUDIED AND ACCUMULATED DEBT FOR. (*screaming in black confusion*) I’m just saying it doesn’t make sense and every time I think about it, I’m projected into a tizzy because my brain just cannot rationalize any of it. On top of all of this, I genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out my love life, but that could be a blog post all on its own. Maybe this was too much information but whatever.
Whew! Ok, Moving on.
What does any of this have to do with ‘weaponization’ against my perception of reality? Well, I could find the silver lining in all of this: (A) at least I’m still young and have plenty of life left ahead of me. (B) I still live with my parents so at least I’m not worried about making sure I keep a roof over my head or food in the refrigerator. (I can’t even imagine having to do that with the way my life is looking right now so shout out to anyone who’s doing it— you’re winning! You’re doing so great! I am incredibly proud of you!)
On the flip side side of these silver linings, I reckon, is where this idea of weaponization is coming from. (Reminder, this is all just a big question I’ve been asking myself and I’m just trying to figure it out… talk therapy wasn’t working, remember?)
So, while it is true that things in my life could be much worse and I very well may just be going through the motions of being 20 something, reality remains: this whole situation is f*cked up. I am unhappy with where I am in my life. I don’t feel hopeful or optimistic about my future or trajectory of my life; at least not most of the time. Simply put: I am actually intensely scared and immensely unsure. With that, instead of using the silver lining(s) simply as a means to keep my mental health afloat, I could use it as a mechanism to reframe my perception of what is actually happening in my life. I could use them as an excuse to party my life away and not make any real steps toward my goals for the future or ambitions for my life, generally. I could weaponize my silver linings by reframing it in my head as a reason to not care or subconsciously escape the weight of my feelings toward my current situation(s).
So, try to catch my drift—
As aforementioned, I’ve developed a fascination with the concept of a silver lining. I marvel at the idea of its essence. The full saying is “every cloud has a silver lining” and I love that so much. It’s so positive and hopeful. The metaphor suggests that even in the midst of darkness there are glimmers of light; light that is always worth pointing out because it reminds us that even the worst events are capable of presenting some pittance of positivity or hope. At the same time, sometimes situations are just all bad… and that’s okay! I mean, it sucks… but it’s okay! It’s life!
I guess the incentive I’m trying to get across is that yes, we should always strive to see the bright side. In a way, silver linings can be used as a coping mechanism for dealing the hardships of life; however, as with all coping mechanisms, they can metamorphose into something harmful. While any coping mechanism can offer temporary relief, unhealthy ones often yield long term negative consequences. I would consider “chronic avoidance of hard-to-deal-with realities” to be a long term negative response, and I presume that’s what comes from the misuse or unhealthy dependency (or as I phrased it earlier, ‘weaponization’) on/of “silver linings”.
I’m not entirely sure where I was going with all of this, but I’m glad I was able to flush the thought out. I just want to encourage everyone (myself, particularly) to keep your head up. Yes, times may be hard right now and yes maybe we want to drown our sorrows in bottles of liquor or on dance floors in sh*tty bars/clubs… We are young! We are turnt! We are getting hotter and hotter everyday! However, I think it’s worth reminding all of us that at the end of that high, reality is still reality and we will have to deal with it eventually. We can’t outrun life. Sh*t happens. So I guess the message is: stay positive, but stay real. ‘Cus life isn’t playing with none of us.
Cheers,
Ananda
02: WHAT IF I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT?
For starters: I began writing this on a Wednesday. I posed a question and quickly realized— I didn’t even have the answers. I took the rest of the week to think and finished the post on Friday. I’m only human, after all.
WHEW! Today is a true Wednesday. What I mean by this: some Wednesday’s don’t really feel like Wednesday. They feel like maybe a Tuesday depending on the speed of the week and if you had any days of your weekend to yourself. Some Wednesday’s feel like Thursday— perhaps you had one too many meetings/zoom calls and it feels like happy hour should start right now. But today is one of those Wednesday’s that really does feel like the middle of the week.. we completed two days (Monday and Tuesday) and we still have two more after this (Thursday and Friday).
Some of us went to the gym two days in a row and today we are thinking “hmm… I gotta go to bed. Dis Tew Much.” Some of us made dinner Sunday and finished the left overs yesterday resulting in the, now, crippling allure of the cheapest takeout—despite having grocery shopped for the week, knowing we got food at home. Some of us dumped our laundry on our bed Monday thinking it would make us fold it and put it away; instead, we’ve just been sleeping next to it. Or we dumped it back in the bin. Or we put it in that “everything chair” in the corner of the room (you know you have one). Then, when we rolled out of bed this morning we made an even bigger mess because we had to sort through unfolded laundry to find something to wear. All of these are sure enough signs that we are having a true Wednesday (I’m unsure if I coined this term but it’s really working for me right now.) Within all of these truths lies the road to the root of my quandary: What do we do when we JUST. DONT. FEEL. LIKE. IT. ?
Me, living to fight another day.
Rationalize time as conceptual
My new favorite thing to say is “at the end of the day, the day has to end”… and it’s true! We are all, hopefully, afforded (by the grace of God) the same 24 hours every day. At the end of 23 hours and 59 minutes, the clock resets and another 24 hours start. Mr. Sol (sun) greets us in the morning, and Ms. Luna (moon) says goodnight. Depending on the season, somewhere between 5 and 7 pm, Mr. Sol bids us farewell and Ms. Luna greets us to carry us through the night.
Stay with me— Mr. Sol and Ms. Luna do this regardless of if you achieved your tasks. They do their dance regardless of if you made any progress. If this is true, that implies the risk of stagnation. Without getting too deep into my personal philosophy, the concept I’m trying to get to is: if time is always moving forward, then so should we. I think the Sun and Moon get tired sometimes too— but they can’t just not do their job. If the Sun and Moon get no days off, why should we? They don’t even get weekends or sick leave/sick pay… they just thug it out every day. They get on their zoom, every. single. day. AND WE AREN’T EVEN NICE TO THEM! We’ve got all kinds of fossil fuels and gases just choking them out… but they still show up.
I digressed for a moment there; however, in all seriousness — time moves forward. It never stops moving forward, so why should we? What makes us so special that we think we can defy nature? our feelings?? No. If we stop moving forward what’s the point? Nobody is saying you have to conquer giants every day, but you have to move forward.
Now, some of us have been subscribed to God’s strongest soldier plan against our will. Some of us even got upgraded to Platinum despite multiple requests to cancel our subscriptions. But even my fellow members subscribed to this plan, I pose this question to you: if you’re going through hell right now— why would you stop in hell? KEEP GOING!
Be serious; it doesn’t matter.
Disclaimer: this may come off a bit harsh, but find solace in the fact that this is literally how I talk to myself in the mirror most days.
The question at hand is “what if I don’t feel like it?” and the real answer is it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure nobody ever feels like it. Who feels like deep cleaning a bathroom? Who feels like folding and putting the laundry away? Who actually feels like cooking for hours and then meal prepping? No one. None of us want to do these things because there is no instant gratification in them. But, if you think about it, you do want to come home to a clean house after a long day of work. You do want your bathroom to be clean when you’re getting ready for work or a night out. You do want a meal already prepped, ready to grab-n-go when you’re running a couple minutes behind for work. You want the benefits of doing the things you never feel like doing. WE ALL DO!
We have to get in the habit of over-riding our feelings… well, at least the ones that breadcrumb us into stagnations.
So.. what’s the conclusion?
I will forever remind you all— I don’t actually have any of the answers. I’m trying to figure it out.
I started writing this blog on Wednesday (3/12/25), this week. Today is Friday (3/14/25) and I am just now figuring out what I want to say and how I want to say it. All this to drive my point: I woke up this morning on a mission. I refused to let this week end without me posting. Better late than never (I guess?). And sure, this may be hypocritical of me because— if I know my feelings are deceptive, then why didn’t I force myself to finish it Wednesday? Truth is, I asked myself this question and I was stumped… It wasn’t until last night when it dawned on me that the answer is— it doesn’t matter. You have to push. You have to always press toward the mark.
Reality is, we have to prioritize long-term goals— we have to think of the big picture. In addition to thinking of it, we have to actively pursue it and this means realizing that our feelings cannot matter. We cannot give our feelings that much power over us. They are our feelings— we are not theirs. We have to seize control over ourselves and live to fight another day. It’s a privilege!
I have made drastic changes in my life recently in pursuit of personal goals and aspirations. Creating this blog was a part of that. If I let feelings get in my way, then what was it all for? We have to choose to live. We have to choose to keep going. It is not easy, and it is not fun— but the reward for following through is not even comparable to the fleeting feelings of contentment when we sit idle and watch life pass us by because we don’t feel like it.
It’s not easy and each day presents its own challenges, but each time we keep going even when we really don’t feel like it are times we grow. Those are the moments that develop and test our character. It’s in those moments that we find out what we’re really made of.
I can’t speak for everybody and I certainly would never want to— but I leave you all with this: I’m going to continue to show up. I hope you all will too!
Cheers!
Ananda Hutcherson
01. WTF IS REALLY GOING ON?
Me after real life slapped me in the face post-graduation.
Welcome to Episode 01: ‘WTF is Really Going On!?’
Starting off with Logistics:
First: I want to start off by saying— how the hell did we get from the pandemonium to Mr. Wig being in office again? What happened during those six years!? Truly— WTH is going on??
Secondly: I do not seek congratulations or pity when I say creating this blog and actually posting here is no small feat. I have been stuck in a lull for quite some time now— perhaps maybe even since the world froze (i.e. the pandemonium of 2020). I’m even hesitant to call that the start period because even throughout those two years, I achieved great feats— I took 21 credits my senior semester of college, and graduated early from Gonzaga University with a degree in Communication and Public Relations.
I thought that I had done something great; I thought I had done something I could be proud of— and so I entered the world with my shoulders back and head held high, optimistic and eager to find and create a life for myself. But boy, oh, boy little did I know… about anything..
Over-saturation of the Job Market | Deterioration of Mental Stability—
So, BOOM- I graduated and was applying to any and every job/internship that appeared remotely interesting. Because I had completed three hard years at a prestigious institution, I genuinely believed that companies and coorperations would leap at the opportunity to incorporate a young, fresh, and challenging perspective onto their teams— I was gravely mistaken.
The job market was over-saturated with people who were over-qualified for the positions. The jobs I wanted required a bachelor’s degree and a couple years of experience (which I had). Thanks to the pandemonium, the people with Master Degrees and PhD’s were also applying to these ENTRY LEVEL positions so naturally, they were getting the jobs!!
Fast forward, after months and months of this I’m pretty sure I entered into psychosis. (Quick side note— there was also the long time on-again, off-again boyfriend as well as the ADHD testing and diagnosis adding to all of this so… yeah.. whew!) Okay back to story time— I finally came across this retail job at Anthropolgie and am now a retail stylist. I also took a standardized test and acquired a teaching credential and have been doing substitute teaching around my home town.
I thank God that I came across these gigs and do, to some extent enjoy both of my jobs.
To my point— regarding the question that titles this pilot post:
While I’m grateful for my current streams of income, my life does not look remotely similar to the idea I had of it when I left college. I truly have no idea what is going on— Mr. Wig is president, again******. The job postings are high; yet, hiring rates are low. I finally started going to the gym again; yet, I see no results. I’m grown enough to make my own decisions; yet, still young enough that I’m unsure how to even file my taxes… HELL— I just got my first jury summons the other day!!!
All of this to say; I am launching this blog because I know what it is to feel like the world is up against you. I know what it is to feel like nobody understands. I know what it is to feel like you worked your butt off and are not reaping any of it’s benefits. I know what it is to feel like you have planted a seed, and are in an eternal period of limbo, just waiting for it to bloom— hell even for it to just sprout!
I’m hoping that through this blog and with this (hoped for) community, we can unveil what’s really going on together. Hopefully you all can help me and I can help you (feel less alone).
With love, style, and grace,
Yours Truly,
Ananda Hutcherson