02: WHAT IF I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT?
For starters: I began writing this on a Wednesday. I posed a question and quickly realized— I didn’t even have the answers. I took the rest of the week to think and finished the post on Friday. I’m only human, after all.
WHEW! Today is a true Wednesday. What I mean by this: some Wednesday’s don’t really feel like Wednesday. They feel like maybe a Tuesday depending on the speed of the week and if you had any days of your weekend to yourself. Some Wednesday’s feel like Thursday— perhaps you had one too many meetings/zoom calls and it feels like happy hour should start right now. But today is one of those Wednesday’s that really does feel like the middle of the week.. we completed two days (Monday and Tuesday) and we still have two more after this (Thursday and Friday).
Some of us went to the gym two days in a row and today we are thinking “hmm… I gotta go to bed. Dis Tew Much.” Some of us made dinner Sunday and finished the left overs yesterday resulting in the, now, crippling allure of the cheapest takeout—despite having grocery shopped for the week, knowing we got food at home. Some of us dumped our laundry on our bed Monday thinking it would make us fold it and put it away; instead, we’ve just been sleeping next to it. Or we dumped it back in the bin. Or we put it in that “everything chair” in the corner of the room (you know you have one). Then, when we rolled out of bed this morning we made an even bigger mess because we had to sort through unfolded laundry to find something to wear. All of these are sure enough signs that we are having a true Wednesday (I’m unsure if I coined this term but it’s really working for me right now.) Within all of these truths lies the road to the root of my quandary: What do we do when we JUST. DONT. FEEL. LIKE. IT. ?
Me, living to fight another day.
Rationalize time as conceptual
My new favorite thing to say is “at the end of the day, the day has to end”… and it’s true! We are all, hopefully, afforded (by the grace of God) the same 24 hours every day. At the end of 23 hours and 59 minutes, the clock resets and another 24 hours start. Mr. Sol (sun) greets us in the morning, and Ms. Luna (moon) says goodnight. Depending on the season, somewhere between 5 and 7 pm, Mr. Sol bids us farewell and Ms. Luna greets us to carry us through the night.
Stay with me— Mr. Sol and Ms. Luna do this regardless of if you achieved your tasks. They do their dance regardless of if you made any progress. If this is true, that implies the risk of stagnation. Without getting too deep into my personal philosophy, the concept I’m trying to get to is: if time is always moving forward, then so should we. I think the Sun and Moon get tired sometimes too— but they can’t just not do their job. If the Sun and Moon get no days off, why should we? They don’t even get weekends or sick leave/sick pay… they just thug it out every day. They get on their zoom, every. single. day. AND WE AREN’T EVEN NICE TO THEM! We’ve got all kinds of fossil fuels and gases just choking them out… but they still show up.
I digressed for a moment there; however, in all seriousness — time moves forward. It never stops moving forward, so why should we? What makes us so special that we think we can defy nature? our feelings?? No. If we stop moving forward what’s the point? Nobody is saying you have to conquer giants every day, but you have to move forward.
Now, some of us have been subscribed to God’s strongest soldier plan against our will. Some of us even got upgraded to Platinum despite multiple requests to cancel our subscriptions. But even my fellow members subscribed to this plan, I pose this question to you: if you’re going through hell right now— why would you stop in hell? KEEP GOING!
Be serious; it doesn’t matter.
Disclaimer: this may come off a bit harsh, but find solace in the fact that this is literally how I talk to myself in the mirror most days.
The question at hand is “what if I don’t feel like it?” and the real answer is it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure nobody ever feels like it. Who feels like deep cleaning a bathroom? Who feels like folding and putting the laundry away? Who actually feels like cooking for hours and then meal prepping? No one. None of us want to do these things because there is no instant gratification in them. But, if you think about it, you do want to come home to a clean house after a long day of work. You do want your bathroom to be clean when you’re getting ready for work or a night out. You do want a meal already prepped, ready to grab-n-go when you’re running a couple minutes behind for work. You want the benefits of doing the things you never feel like doing. WE ALL DO!
We have to get in the habit of over-riding our feelings… well, at least the ones that breadcrumb us into stagnations.
So.. what’s the conclusion?
I will forever remind you all— I don’t actually have any of the answers. I’m trying to figure it out.
I started writing this blog on Wednesday (3/12/25), this week. Today is Friday (3/14/25) and I am just now figuring out what I want to say and how I want to say it. All this to drive my point: I woke up this morning on a mission. I refused to let this week end without me posting. Better late than never (I guess?). And sure, this may be hypocritical of me because— if I know my feelings are deceptive, then why didn’t I force myself to finish it Wednesday? Truth is, I asked myself this question and I was stumped… It wasn’t until last night when it dawned on me that the answer is— it doesn’t matter. You have to push. You have to always press toward the mark.
Reality is, we have to prioritize long-term goals— we have to think of the big picture. In addition to thinking of it, we have to actively pursue it and this means realizing that our feelings cannot matter. We cannot give our feelings that much power over us. They are our feelings— we are not theirs. We have to seize control over ourselves and live to fight another day. It’s a privilege!
I have made drastic changes in my life recently in pursuit of personal goals and aspirations. Creating this blog was a part of that. If I let feelings get in my way, then what was it all for? We have to choose to live. We have to choose to keep going. It is not easy, and it is not fun— but the reward for following through is not even comparable to the fleeting feelings of contentment when we sit idle and watch life pass us by because we don’t feel like it.
It’s not easy and each day presents its own challenges, but each time we keep going even when we really don’t feel like it are times we grow. Those are the moments that develop and test our character. It’s in those moments that we find out what we’re really made of.
I can’t speak for everybody and I certainly would never want to— but I leave you all with this: I’m going to continue to show up. I hope you all will too!
Cheers!
Ananda Hutcherson
